Abe Lincoln and the middle biscuit

Abe Lincoln and the middle biscuit

by Kelly T. Haysley

February 12, 2015

The U.S. calendar says it is February 12 - Abraham Lincoln’s birthday. He is a former President who led our country with wisdom and foresight, through one of the darkest periods in our history. Obviously February 12 is a day on which great men are born. It is also my father’s birthday. Had he not left this Earth two years ago, my dad would be 83 years old today. We all miss his wisdom, patience and kindness, not to mention his ability to fix or build anything. I could go on and on about my father. He was too many good things to fit onto one page.

This evening as we were preparing dinner, I purposefully placed biscuits on a baking pan side-by-side so they would touch as they bake. When you pull apart the finished biscuits, it leaves soft, chewy sides rather than golden, crispy edges. My dad always preferred those with the soft edges. We would often make sure to save him the middle biscuit. At times it was something to tease him about.

I shared this little factoid with my husband, and he noted it was something, that after 23 years, he had never heard about my dad. We all know that it is often these sudden memories which  make us miss someone. But in a fun way, they also lead to more reminiscing about the other little things we remember – or had almost forgotten – about someone we have lost. Thinking about the middle biscuit opened the gates to so many random recollections.

Dinner time often sparks memories of my father. My husband I frequently talk about how much my dad loved his hot peppers with his meals. He enjoyed growing them in a garden, and eating them raw until his nose ran, eyes watered and he’d get the hiccups.  He enjoyed cooking home-style dishes and made the best Salisbury steak on the planet. His patience made him a great cook. He took the time to get it done right, and pay attention to details (just like he did as a contractor, and as a railroad engineer).  Dad was the one who taught me anything I know about jelly making, pickling, and pinching the suckers off of tomato plants.  Always teaching.

Benjamin Franklin is credited with saying, “Tell me and I will forget, teach me and I remember, involve me and I learn.”  My dad knew this innately, and he lived it every day.  I was always involved in whatever he was doing around the house or in the yard, at his desk or in the kitchen. I was always welcomed in his world and he was ever so patient in answering thousands of questions or letting me try to “do it myself” even when I was certainly slowing down his productivity.

Too many times, I interrupted him as he sat at his desk, paying the bills, doing the taxes or preparing his Sunday school lesson (another way he taught).  He never made me feel bothersome or in his way – which I was. He always included me. I remember helping him underline text in his Sunday school lesson book (he never highlighted, just underlined), and I was always allowed to lick the envelopes and stamps for the pile of bills he had just paid.

Dad always made time to sit at the table and help me with homework, and found inventive ways to assist me if needed. In first grade he taught me a helpful hint – to visualize numbers with dots on them, to represent the value of each number. It helped me “see” the value and therefore made it easier for a visual person like me, to add and subtract.

Almost thirty years later, when I enrolled my son in a school for special needs children, they were using TouchMath curriculum to assist special learners.  It closely resembled the system my dad had come up with for me in 1980, and is the system I use to teach my special son. Dad was ahead of his time and never knew it.

When I began making wedding cakes professionally in 1997, my father was my first assistant, helping me transport and set-up those monstrosities. His engineering mind often helped me trouble-shoot my designs. He enjoyed watching and learning from me, and was just as willing to follow my lead, as I had always been for him.

Although he spent his career with the railroad, he said he had always wanted to be a teacher. I never knew him as anything but. He was my dad, and he was my best teacher.  He was wise, thoughtful, introspective, and ahead of his time – much like Abe Lincoln.  And he was always warm, soft and comforting – yes, just like the middle biscuit.   

One of my favorite “Dad dishes”

Larry’s Pea Salad

2 cans tiny peas (drained)

2 cans white whole kernel, shoe peg corn

1 green pepper, finely diced

1 cup celery, finely diced

1 medium onion, finely diced

1 large jar pimentos

1 cup sugar

½ cup vegetable oil

1 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

¾ cup white vinegar

Blend all in a bowl, chill.  Ready to serve.

                                                       Somewhere in West Virginia, c.1983

Copyright 2015 Kelly T.Haysley

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